Paul Revere played a significant role in the American Revolution but is best known because of the Longfellow poem The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere. You remember: “Listen my children and you shall hear…” and “one if by land and two if by sea and I on the opposite shore shall be.” (Which is about all of the poem that 99.99% of Americans can recall.)
As with much of the history we’ve been taught in school, Revere’s ride has been exaggerated and manipulated to make it better fit the official narrative. Much like Madonna’s career.
Midnight Ride was written originally by the poet Clarence Trebuchet, of the Lexington Trebuchets. Some historians believe him to be the man in the window in the illustration above. Many decades later Longfellow was given the task of making his poem more appropriately inspirational.
To celebrate Revere’s December 21st birthday, Jeffsicle is proud to present the original Trebuchet version of The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere.
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Listen my children and you shall hear
Of the midnight deliveries of Paul Revere,
The British were coming, the hamlet was hungry
Just one man and one horse had the vision to see,
That both crises could be resolved conflict-free
By Paul’s nighttime job at Lotus Key Chinese
He said to his friend, “Wonton if by land, Tofu if by sea,
and I on the carryout line will be.
Ready to order and spread the Hoisin
Through every Mooshu pancake therein
For the country folks who need Szechuan.
A hurry of hoofs in a village street,
Saddlebags in the moonlight, filled with Crispy Beef,
It arrived from the forests, as if by luck,
And then, at the next house, came Peking Duck;
That’s not all! Along with the Sweet and Sour Pork,
A nation’s fate had Chow Foon on its fork;
And the spark struck out by that steed’s Steamed Dumplings,
Kindled the land into flame with Five Spices.
So through the night rode Paul Revere;
The whispers of General Tso in his ear,
To Middlesex kitchens goes chicken Lo Mein,
A cry of “food’s here,” and not of fear,
A voice in the darkness, a knock at the door,
And the words “cash or credit?” echo evermore!
For, borne on the carry-out of the Past,
Through all our history, to the last,
In the hour of hunger and gastric distress,
The people wait up for Shrimp with Asparagus,
The fragrant aromas brought by that steed,
And the midnight deliveries of Paul Revere.
©2015 Jeffsicle. Feel free to share with friends. We’re also on Facebook www.facebook.com/jeffsicleblog and on Twitter @Jeffsicle. Don’t believe everything you read.
I’ll talk about Rudolph’s absence later. What I want to discuss is the exponential increase in deliveries we’ve had to make in recent years.
Jeffsicle 
