Some final random thoughts on this year’s Oscars.
- Two years ago Oscar host Seth McFarlane seriously pissed off actresses with his musical number “We Saw Your Boobs.” This year, Oscar host Neil Patrick Harris showed solidarity with those actresses by displaying his boobs.
- I fully expected Robert Duvall to pull a Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
- John Travolta appeared to be auditioning for the lead in the Joe Biden biopic.
- Scarlett Johansen gave a master class in throwing shade when Travolta kissed her. The temperature in the room plummeted 20 degrees in an instant. A solution to global warming?
- And talking about shade, did you see 50 Shades of Grey star Dakota Johnson (we saw your boobs) on the red carpet venting daughterly exasperation toward her mother, who happens to be actress Melanie Griffith. It seems Griffith did not want to watch her daughter in an erotic movie. This is the same Griffith who first appeared in racy nude scenes when she was 17 (we saw yours too). Hooray for Hollywood!
- I try to keep up with who’s who in the latest generation of actors and actresses but I confess I find it hard to keep them straight. Most appear to be generic-looking pretty boys or thin blondes with great hair. Sometimes all in one.
- After Lady Gaga wowed with her Sound of Music medley, Julie Andrews hugged her and, with tears in her eyes, whispered in Gaga’s ear “stay away from Captain von Trapp, he’s mine.”
- Apparently the winners in the various foreign film categories were most impressed that their Oscars apparently qualified them for free doughnuts and booze.
- The Lego production number made me reminisce about Dumbo’s “Pink Elephants on Parade,” which I saw at least 40 times on VHS thanks to my little Girlsicle.
- Many of the winners used their acceptance speeches to promote a cause. The most noticed was Patricia Arquette who spoke passionately in favor of Equal Pay for White Women Actors. Lesser causes, according to my notes: Don’t Interrupt Your Parents, Save the Kale, Vaccine Science Reading Rooms, and Close Carry, Open Carry, Jim Carrey.
- Why did I think Birdman was a remake of Birdman of Alcatraz?
- Jaret, your barber called. You missed your appointment. Again.
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